Never Loan Family and Friends Money

Never Loan Family and Friends Money



hey this is brother teacher this is just another snippet from me if you will and the gist of this basically is about loaning people money I don't believe in loaning people money per se that is not one of the rules that I have it is against my rules and my philosophy is this if per adventure I worked alone someone money number one I would not loan them more than I could stand to lose in other words if someone this is a rough example if someone were to ask me for five hundred dollars I'd give him 50 but I could probably stand to lose $50 and particularly if that person has never asked me for that amount of money before now if I just absolutely feel uncomfortable with giving them any money I will tell them I don't have it now saying you don't have it when you probably do physically have money put away or in your savings and so forth is that telling a lie I wanted to clear this up for you as well rest assured my friends all of you are dead or watching this it's not telling a lie when you have a family or even you for that matter just an individual and you are saving for your future you have decided at some point in your life that I'm going to take care of me and I'm gonna put this nest egg away for me you make that decision you didn't say for me and somebody else you said for me for my future it is my rainy-day nest egg in case something happens you ought to yourself to be true to yourself as Shakespeare said be true thyself now if a person asks you for $20 and you know that what you have in your pocket is your gas money or transportation money or just you're spending change in general but you do have five or six hundred dollars in the bank or at home hidden somewhere and that person might be aware that you have some kind of money because you have a good paying job or what have you and they get offended when you say no let them be offended it's okay let me tell you something if you have real friends real friends that's the operative word real if you have real friends your friends will understand your friends will accept whatever your answer is being a your name now people who are so-called friends are going to talk about you probably like a dog well he he all stuck up or she's all stuck up and who they think they are they did got it all now I've done this for them in time past I babysit at their child for the young man I've done this with them and that to them understand this first of all that is a level of maturity for a child so that person is not an adult yet they haven't grown up they're a child in an adult's body so don't let it get to you and secondly and probably finally is that that's really not your friend that's an associate because your friend will love you regardless that's it and the same is true for family even though they are flesh and blood if they ask you for a loan and you tell them no they just had better accept to know now this is the part that I really take issue with and I've had people come to me before and asked me my viewpoint they say opinion but I say my viewpoint they say teacher so-and-so asked me for some money and I gave them some money and they didn't pay me back and they asked me for some money on another occasion out some money and they didn't pay me back now they're asking me for money again and I don't know what to say to them I said I didn't say it exactly like this but I'm going to say this to you in the audience grow a pair plant your feet firmly on the ground and say this to yourself I am a man or a woman and I'm gonna stick my chest out and be what the creator made me a man or a woman and I'm gonna tell them I'm gonna take a deep breath if I have to maybe a couple if I have to and I'm gonna look them dead in the eyes with all due respect I'm not able to give you another loan or give you any more money because remember you didn't pay me back the first two times you asked me for money and be serious no jokes at all be serious and be kind at the same time look them in their eyes now they're gonna respond to that wonderful couple ways maybe first of all they're gonna say well I did this for you and I did that for you I should be good for it I know I haven't paid you the last time or the last two times or what-have-you but I promise I'm gonna pay you when my income tax calm for I promise I'm gonna pay you on such-and-such a date you know I've just been going through some stuff okay who doesn't go through anything just a footnote there but anyway that could be one way they could approach it or they could say I don't know why you treated me like that I'm your family okay family gets treated with the long handle spoon – especially when you're abusing other family members all right I mean I'm supposed to be treated with respect and dignity to do unto others as you would have them do unto you you know how the saying goes now the other way they could respond to you is this they would say I don't know what long you talking about I paid you that loan back all of a sudden they develop amnesia and they don't remember so then you're thrust into a position to be trying to defend yourself and try to remember and recollect when it happened in the dates and stuff like that so this is what I have found do everything as a business well a person from your family or even friend if you decide to loan someone some money make them sign a contract it's that simple follow this instruction from teacher if you don't follow anything else don't feel bad about it it's all in your presentation or your approach to that person let's say it's family member or friend and that you are indeed going to give them a loan this is what you do you get piece of paper you put it in a typewriter or you can do it on your word document on your computer WordPad whatever you can type it up and say on this particular date I have loaned John Doe Jane Doe dis amount of money and I am expecting them to pay me back on this date and then you make a statement on there I agree that I owe me whoever you are I agree that I owe such and such this amount of money and that I will pay them on this particular date signed and have their name printed and then draw a line underneath or type of line underneath that would be their signature block and you can go as far as go to the bank your local bank and get it notarized with them being there and they can sign it you can sign it so there's really a legal document then but it's still a legal document with their signature on it you don't have to have all of these state stamps and all of this stuff for to be a legal lawful document or contract all you have to have is the signature the signature is binding understand that and don't forget there please okay so now you get them to sign this and you give them a copy of it and you have the copy so that way you have a paper trail so the next time they ask you for a loan you pull the paper out say you haven't paid me this yet see once they pay you you can tear the contract up or unless you just want to keep it for your files but you haven't paid me yet you present that to them and guess what you stop them in their tracks now this is what you will more than likely end up with as far as a response from your family member I don't have to sign any contract I'm your cousin I'm your auntie I'm your brother I'm your mother no I'm sorry with all due respect like I said if you're a big boy a big girl you have your big-boy pants and panties on your girl you pull them up take a deep breath and you speak with respect and dignity to whoever this mother father brother sister uncle cousin it doesn't matter second twice-removed it doesn't matter your friend it doesn't matter and you say I would like you to fill out this agreement or this contract and these are the terms you know that you plan on paying me back on such-and-such a date and it's just so we both remember this transaction and that's it and if they agree to that then that would give them a little bit more leverage with you in terms of you potentially given them another loan in the future but what that say it understand is also don't make giving your friends and family alone a perpetual thing don't let it be forever and I left something out too as or the loan but let me touch on that real quick right now one of my other issues is if the person has no income I won't get them alone I won't loan them money I'd rather give somebody money in that situation and believe me it's gonna be the $500 versus $50.00 situation again as well but if you don't if you don't have an income kind of word you're gonna pay me back and all of the promises that you made won't put the money back in my pocket and the old answer that you get from a lot of people is that I'll pay you in my income tax come but you know what sometimes the income tax never comes sometimes the state will take your income tax sometimes you will end up on the government and you won't get an income tax so I'm relying on your income tax I don't think so so please take those things to heart that I've just told you as it relates to loaning people not money and don't make it a point to loan money especially when you don't have the money too long now if you want to in your savings set aside so much money per month for those types of situations when people might ask you for money if that's the case with you having friends and family that do periodically ask you for money if you want to put some money aside you can do that so make sure that that money is allocated only for you know helping people out if you want to do that but uh don't make it a rule to loan people money you know it's gonna first of all it's going to create a better relationship between you and your friends your actual friends and your family and you won't have to so any seeds of discourse with you know not helping people out you know do the contract thing and you will appreciate this information that I've just given you and this is brother teacher again and if you have any questions in the comments section right below I'll see you then so long

40 thoughts on “Never Loan Family and Friends Money

  1. I have lent money to friends that were not really friends and like you said were associates and to some family members. I have never seen them again after I loaned the money. I have learned my lesson and now if I have a so call friend asking me to lend them any money, I say I’m sorry I don’t have any money although I do have in savings and in investments. And now after I learned my lessons, I don’t see it as a lie cause is money I have allocated for my future and emergencies and not money I’m giving to someone to ran with it. I also tell them to go to the bank and ask for a loan or get the money they need from a credit card. If they say , they don’t qualify for a loan or credit card or have maxed out their credit cards I say well apply for another credit card as there are many credit card companies and banks or to ask someone else cause I can’t help you and don’t have any money to lend.

  2. Frankly, everything you say is on point. When we choose to loan others money or not is based on evaluation you have of that individual. Apparently people who you feel more comfortable lending money to are the ones who don't ask for it. They usually have the means to get it themselves contrary ones are the ones who have credit issues so they come to you because they are basically not creditworthy. You as an individual don't have the same protections as a bank. So the best practice is to neither a lender or borrower be as far as individuals goes. We work hard for our income and we can ill afford to just give it away. IJS

  3. Quite a coincidence that I stumbled across this vid. Last August I loaned a chic friend $300. The agreement was to repay the loan in two weeks. When that time passed, she came with all these excuses. The debate got so bad that I just told her to keep the money. And just today, she texted and asked to borrow $200 until next Friday. I politely advised her that I no longer lend money. How-the-fuck did she even have the nerve to ask me for a loan. People are bold, and often fall short of their word. Isn’t it even funny how some broke folks get upset when you won’t loan them money. Ridiculous..!!

  4. I loaned my daughter my last $1600 to get her car back from a repossession. She promised to pay it back with her tax refund. She spent the refund instead. I swore i would never give what I don't have, but regretfully gave it to her. 😠

  5. I never loan money to anyone. I don't care who it is . More often enough it's for drugs. And even if it's not fuck em.

  6. I hate when you lend money and then they haven't paid you back but want to talk about other people they going to pay back or have to pay back smfh

  7. Brother we think alike you took the words right out of my mouth about taken them to the bank and get it notarized true and real friends will not like you cord money only they called users they don't have no intention to pay it back.they have I'll intentions from the get go not to pay you back

  8. You got it brother I don't care what they say about me I own my own money they will try to put a spin on what the bible says about helping people to make you feel bad about not loaning them money.The only person I plan money to is my mother she brought me into this world to get blessed but my mother is deceased so I donate to a good cause.

  9. I loaned my older brother around £1,300 2 yrs. ago and never got the money back- not mentioning the money I have also sent him in the past which I also never received. He borrowed around the time his wife moved to Singapore to find better work. I did it because they made me feel guilty if I didn't help and so I did like the sucker I was way back when they took advantage of me over and over. My brother has stopped talking to me properly- avoids me as if he doesn't remember what he has borrowed. Even though him and his wife make a fortune working in Singapore now and earn around $100K a year. He doesn't even like my posts on FB anymore- which is a stupid thing to say because who cares about likes right? When I see him like other posts though, it makes me feel like saying- 'Why don't you ask them for money so you can pay me back?' I have disowned my older brother and now refuse to speak to him and his family. NEVER AGAIN WILL I GIVE PEOPLE MONEY. NEVER EVER AGAIN. I advise all of you to refrain from giving people money- you are not responsible for their lives. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE OF YOUR LIFE. Look out for yourself.

  10. Just say No..Get collateral, if they have it, or want to give it to you. Some will say no, so you should say no..

  11. I have family members that don't even ask for a loan, they want you to just give them large sums of money because we're family, yet they act unthankful, entitled and never can help others out.

  12. I have had many people ask me for money. If I ever did ask for money to be fully honest it was with ill intent and desparation. We dont need people to beg for money rather people that will strive to do their best to get it. There are ppl with missing limbs, defects, and real problems. Those are the ones meant for real govt support. This is big problem in this country as opposed to others is that its the norm to have a hand out from bums to waitors and gambling dealers. If you need a loan you deserve to preservere without. Thats how you learn to not ever need a loan thats how I learned. I have been to foreign places then and now. I gave a man a dollar extra tip and he fought me about it. He was mad at me for giving that tip. He had pride. Maybe he made only 8 or 10 dollars a day in a place where everything costs the same or youll sleep in mud. But it was a type of fight him to give that dollar. The U.S. people are soft always looking for a hand out. Taught bad democratic principals in a time of struggling to grow and mature. Its nice to cherish the youth and let them be happy but not weak.

  13. Even in my darkest moments in life I didn't borrow money I don't need peoples money and I surely don't want anyone asking me!

  14. They'll ask, don't pay back, and ask again. So you're dealing with someone self centered or needy or immature. They don't care how you feel.

  15. Or you lends your friends money and when it's time for them to pay you back they tell you they got a family to take care of or something more important came up!

  16. My much older sibling ask for money and don't pay back. Happened to me several times and It doesn't feel good at all. But I give money to charity and I feel great.

  17. I find there also tends to be a sunk cost fallacy.  YOu lend your friend money but before he can pay it back he asks to borrow more and you worry if you don't loan the 2nd sum you'll lose the first.  I have a tendency to actually believe that when it's going on!

  18. I have had 2 friends asking me for money to rent and food i said to both them why they have an new iphone and an expensive car if they dont have money to food.
    So i told them too sell their iphones and buy a cheaper phone and guess what one friend got angry at me and the other did ask me if i could help him set up a budget (his not good with numbers) so he sold some stuff didnt need to loan money and he thanked me for giving him a skill (budgeting) and two years later we are good friends

  19. When people ask me for money. I just say ‘I can’t get it . I m tired of family asking & they have jobs. And you will never see that money again. Some times you may even go in debt , trying to help . Let them go . Take care of your self.

  20. Great video. I agree with all of your points. I don’t loan money that I can’t afford to loose. Another thing I offer is an partial investment with the principal and interest due.

  21. it's bad idea to lend money to close friends or relatives it ruins your current relationships with them. Better not mention anything about asking money to people who you don't want to loose.

  22. good video. i got a question. how do you deal with stingy/miserly friends who don't wanna spend their money but will happily let you spend money on them

  23. YOUR 1000% CORRECT. ANOTHER REASON I DON’T LOAN MONEY TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY IS BECAUSE IT CRIPPLES THEM. THE ONLY WAY THEY WILL LEARN IS TO LET THEM HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

  24. my ex signed a legal document and it was worthless piece of paper because he took off he didn't pay me the money and because I went to court he didn't I didn't get anything he he had no legal defense he said I can't pay I can't afford that that's not illegal defense the problem I have is collecting the money from the bastard because he's too frightening Social Security and saying he's disabled when he's not and he refuses to pay me back he has three incomes to drive from his sister the new woman he's with its the 7th supposed to be girlfriend and then the money that he got while he was leeching off of me so his signature was worthless on this document it doesn't do me any good I go go to court and I get nothing these crooked judges they don't enforce anything in this town where he's at and I got a worthless piece of judgment paper that I took away nothing I just lined that damn court with $121 of my husband's veterans money for filing fee not to mention the shyster attorney in that town that took me for $1,000 attorneys fees and he didn't do nothing for me

  25. I have no friend brother teacher I live alone I take care of myself I have my late husband's Navy pension plus his Social Security I so stupidly hooked back up with my first ex-husband in this son of a bitch burned me but good he got a car with my name on it both of us the loan is joint he took the car with him when he left because I got into a fight with him about money I told him I'm not your bank account I'm tired of feeding you you don't pay for anything and I'm stuck with the death I went to Texas to sue the bastard and the clerk of court when I was in court I told the judge to be responsible if these crooked judges awarded him everything I was screwed over by the attorney he took my money and didn't do a damn thing for me now he's in the bar association in Texas that I've reporting him to I have a fight on my hands with that you digital system to Sue this judge but I'm tired of being screwed over by people in the justice system and other people in society that's why I won't help anybody you know looked at like a stingy person I don't care I am not anybody's bank account and I take care of myself because I have no one to take care of me my father is 60 years ago was screwed out of a million-dollar piece of horse property and $490,000 check she doesn't talk to me anymore of course not because she's part of which my dad helped her damn swindling mother get that I will never probably see any money from that situation so I'm pretty upset about this I'm the one that's always seems to be getting the short end of the stick it's amazing because when you have done after you've done and said all this and you've help these parasites that despitefully use you you get kicked in the teeth it's just like with me my credit is ruined because of this pastor that I was so stupid to sign alone with him he will never see the the title of that car he cannot put plates on it I won't sign the title for him he'll never be able to sell that car unless he get gives the car to somebody and they just drive it around without plates on it our system is evil and crooked and it's just like you just have to be so careful as to where it who you associate with and who you have any we're trying to get into your information or just anything you're doing

  26. Reginald Stroud….FYI, a contract is legal and binding under the law whether it be written, express or implied. You also have the right to sue for breach of that contract. Further, writing up a private contract for a cash Loan merely turns you into a creditor. Not a good spot to be in, unless you collect interest.

  27. I am just so sick of hearing those words; But we are family!  Who cares, that only means we share genetics. If you are trying to take advantage of me financially, you will be treated like a thief, period. Someone who constantly repeats "I have no money" every time you are around them, they are users. A Fake friend is a true enemy, and that includes family members.  Never loan them your money and keep them at arms length. Frienemies, are bad for your health and wealth.

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